Incompetence

That is my feeling. Gosh, I need to stop having self-pity.

So I applied to two schools this semester for their nursing programs, Trinity Western University and City College of San Francisco. I should have applied to more, but my laziness had taken over even that part. I should have researched more schools, but that's my bad. So my update is, I got on the waiting list for TWU and don't find until about City until maybe the 22nd or later.

Lord, I'm so anxious. I can't help but feel so bad for myself. Here goes my one friend applying to like 7 schools, with a 3.9/4.0 gpa and she gets into EVERY SINGLE SCHOOL she applied to, even the lottery ones. And I can't even get into 1 my second time around applying to schools. She's even younger than me. Everyone keeps saying to "pray about it" and that "maybe God has something different for you to do," but is it so wrong to wonder why? Why do I have to wait? Why do I have to suffer taking another semester of physics?

This is depressing. STOP IT GIANEL! I need to shut up and focus. This wallowing just takes up time and energy I could use to serve my Lord. I really need to pray about it because I can't focus on anything. Maybe this is the Lord trying to draw me closer to Him and rely on His plan. He knows I've been taking things into my own hands too much.

Deep inhale. Deep exhale. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10. Prayer time.