You know how you have those days where you feel like crap. gahh, i guess i can say that I am having one of those days. So my frustration level is pretty up there. First of all, I have my first exam in Anatomy. ARGH... i feel so unprepared, and writing this blog isn't helping me prepare.
Plus, my youth band. Gah do i love 'em, but many times, well, a lot of the times I feel like a don't belong. I mean I enjoy singing and all, but I'm not as talented with the voice as Selene is. I can't "let it out" because that's all I CAN let out. My voice is my voice, there isn't anything I can change about that. The voice thing isn't the only part that makes me feel weird. Okay, I'm not trying to say that deserve a solo or anything, but the fact that I am never given a part, or that I am passed up, kinda gets to me. I don't really want to glorify my name and announce what a great singer I am, because I am not that great of a singer. But to be asked WOULD make me feel like i am part of the band.
I just feel like i should hide in the corner right now. I mean, I'm not all emo, about to cut myself. But i just feel like that isn't my cup-a-joe. Although I may enjoy it, I don't feel like I should be one behind the mic.Not only do I feel like an alien to my band, but after a "rejection" with my friend, I feel a little saddened that he is uncomfortable with being friends. I miss his presence, but what can I do if the relationship is just viewed with one direction or none? Nothing, that's what. I guess studying should take my mind off all of this.
2 comments:
baahhhh i cry to ur pain my tiny dancer. I love u more than words and i duno who reads these but u know what i hate that u are always passed over when we had that dinner after our first church gig i was angry u werent assigned a gig to lead. in no way do i have a voice. its only loud but untamed and goes all over the place. u are my tiny dancer without u i cannot sing u are the wind beneath my wings. these stabs are only the devil at work to prevent us from what we can achieve!God has a road for us to grow through and we gotta truck to these times because even teh clossest ppl to us will hurt us the unexpected wil happen but we must always keep our eye on god cuz once we look away the other side will pull us down side by side we wil use the talents the weapons god has given us to fight the good fight and bring light to the darkness we are surrounded in! I luv ya man and ur voice we will ga ga ga til the end!
by the way funny pictures where did u get them
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