Paul's letter to the Romans

Wow, a real page from the Book of Romans! Paul is awesome for writing most of the Bible.

So I did my devotional today on Romans 1, and wow. I haven't done a devotional for a quite a while, sad I know. But it's really convicting. Paul is so bold in proclamation of the Gospel. As it says in verse 16 (Adult Sunday School's memory verse)

For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes.

Awesome! I wish I could be like Paul, going to prison numerous times, yet having God bail him out like nothing. Paul is an apostle I admire.

The rest of the chapter talks of the unrighteous world and how they know of God yet have deceived themselves into pleasing and glorifying their own needs. I admit, I give into the world at times, but thankfully God's grace and mercy has been there to get me out into His light so that I may be the light of the world and the salt of the earth.

Pedicures

Ahhh... I remember my first pedicure. It was the day before my debut, 18th birthday celebration, I went with Ritz and Jessica to pamper ourselves. It was quite lovely... except for the the fact I kept laughing when they scrubbed my feet with the pumice stone. I couldn't help it, it tickled! And that's where it all started, my love for pedicures.

Unfortunately, they're expensive and not quite as good as the ones you give yourself. But hey, you pay for them to do it so you don't have to work at it yourself. It's an indulgence and there's nothing wrong with that.

Just about an hour ago, I gave myself one after MANY months. And my dogs were begging for one. I trimmed, soaked, pushed, nipped, scrubbed, dried, moisturized and painted them. NOW, they are pretty and ready for some spring time shoes. Hooray!

By the grace of God

Defined above, by Mac's dictionary, is the word grace. It certainly is a word that I, as a Christian, am thankful for. At times I know that I am one of those who have willingly gone against His word, but it is only through His grace that I am free for I have a God whose love surpasses all understanding. He loved me and saved me from the wretchedness of sins.
This morning I watched Chris Tomlin's video for Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) and I just have to say that THAT particular song, always convicts my heart in a way I cannot describe. There's link, and here are lyrics.

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

Infamous "To Do" List

Gah, so much things to do. February's craziness set me back a month.

1. Rec Position Paper
2. collect syllabi for specific classes
3. email syllabi to Jessica Stults
4. Reading for Rec
5. Read Ch. 7 & 8 in physics
6. HW due tomorrow
7. Apply for student loans
8. Look up classes for next semester

I have too much for only being a part-time student. Cheez.

Cheez it's March!

This year seems to be whizzing by! It just felt like New Year's Day in Auburn a few weeks ago. In two weeks, I'll be on Spring Break!

Well I haven't really written here much. I was so discouraged by the negative feedback, that I haven't been able to write my cool blogs. Haha... you know they're cool if you find yourself reading them.

So much has happened in the past two months already. I've applied to two nursing programs, and I think I've got one in the bag, but I try not to talk about it because I don't want to get my hopes up. I've gotten acceptance to that school, a $1500 scholarship and all I need is the OK for the school's program, still gotta wait one more month for that one. I went on my first approved date with Aaron, since we're constantly going out in groups or eating lunch because of school. It was nice to be dressed up and taken out. Home has been okay, trust is still being built.

This year, I lost one of my mentors, Tita Elsa Cabalu. It was very sad to know that the prayer warrior, Sunday school teacher, "mother" (as Aaron calls her) of our church has gone to be with the Lord. It was so sudden, so unexpected. But James brought up a good point, she was so vocal for the Lord, but what more if all the people influenced by her, stood up with her boldness, proclaiming the Gospel? I want to be like Tita Elsa, trying to share the Good News to my hairdresser.

I really miss her though. I miss her joking around with me. I miss making fun of her. I miss her calling me to take care of the kids at Prayer meeting. I miss her not wanting to be in the sun. I miss her packing food for me to take home to my mom, after prayer meeting. I miss her calling the house and saying "Hello Gianel... kamusta ka na? Where is your boy-priend?" I miss dancing with her when we hear good music. I miss her.

I can't believe she's gone. She was so loving, so forgiving. I often wished for my mom to have her loving qualities, to always be that person to say, "let's pray about it." Because that was what Tita Elsa was to me. She provided me with that ferverency for the Lord. I should have asked her to be my spiritual mentor before anything. I could have learned more before all this craziness. I would have driven to her. But I know she is in a much better place, free of all the burdens that this world has. Although I may be a bit envious, I know her work here was completed. She received that hug and greeting, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." I miss you, Tita Elsa, but I know we will meet again one day.

PS: I updated my profile a bit. And I was inspired by Liana to put down the books I've read this year. I hope to read much more!

A post from one of my many accounts:

2/8/09 - Wiping Away the Tears

Today has been quite a stressful day. Waking up to a call at 1 am saying that one of your most beloved elders has suffered from a stroke, then a confirmed anuerysm, can take a lot out of you.

This morning I found out that the person was Tita Elsa. Tita Elsa, of all people. The person whose family I am so close to. The person I see every Sunday at church, every Monday at prayer meeting and the occasional Friday for Bible study. The person who always gave Giornel and I such awesomely unheard of candy whenever we would go to her house on Southgate. The person who has inspired me with the Word of God in every conversation we’ve had since I was 6-7 years old. The person whom I cried to when I felt like I had disappointed my parents. The person who has had two major surgeries on her braine today. The person who now lies in a bed in ICU, 2nd floor of the E-wing, in Stanford Hospital. The person whom everyone had shed a tear for at church this morning.

Waking up to that call was so surreal when it was a stroke. Then knowing she was “unconscious” had me crying. Knowing it was an anuerysm scared me. Being helpless didn’t help me sleep at all. Prayer was all I could think of, all I could do. And I’ll do just that:

Lord, I truly, truly, TRULY lift up to you Tita Elsa. She has always been that sweet, sincere, warm hearted person at church and in my life. She has been one of Your persistant servants, who has been joyful in serving you. She was the first person I met that prayed for hours at a time, and who is always fervent in prayer. Lord, I pray that you be with her. Intercede in her life, so that the swelling that is occuring may go down and that she may be one step closer to waking up. Lord, please be with the doctors and nurses as they help her recover from this ordeal. Also, please be with the Cabalu family, and give them the comfort they need… the comfort knowing that You are the Almighty Healer, that You have a great and perfect will for Tita Elsa. I pray that you give their family the strength and support they need as they try to make some sense in this trial. Lord, we would LOVE to see her smiling, joking and praising Your Name once again. We know that you will guide everything in Your time. I am so thankful to have been blessed with her presence in most of my life here, and I pray that her presence will still be around. All these things I pray, in the Name of the most powerful and almighty God, Amen.

Facebook-Officiality

Ron told me to say: "Hey Anonymous, I'm in a relationship now, happy." But I don't feel like it even though I just typed it out right now. I'd rather much just put up a picture from my family Christmas Eve dinner.

oh the hilarity of such a naive mind.

God, You truly deserve all the honor and praise for everything You have done in my life. As it goes in the song I'm listening to right now...

You give me life
And now I give it back to You
With everything You've done for me
It is the least that I could do

Worry Free... it makes sense!

Auntie Agnes,

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! Your blogs and words have really, truly, touched my heart. Unconditional love is what we strive for as lovers of God. And as examples of that, we are to show it. To put whatever is in the past is hard, but to forgive and forget to those whom you feel have wronged you, is the ultimate goal. I really like your title, worry free. For what do I have to worry about when I know God will take care of it. I have no need to avenge, or waste time on pointless comments. To press forward is what I aim. Thank you!

The blog entitled Before I continue with the HW has received raved reviews! Below it are so many amusing comments, responses to the comments and responses to the response of the comments. Thank you to the persons who have commented and left their name. To Anonymous, I would thank you, but you're not a real person in my life because you leave me no name or form of identity. Like I've said before, you just can't seem to muster up the balls to do so because you know you would get so much scrutiny in person, am I right? I guess that it is truly you who has the cover up...?

I know that I have neither said that the relationship I have with Aaron is platonic or not. And do I have a need to because you are, obviously, of no significance to me if I don't even know you, let alone care for what you have to say? Who writes anonymous comments now-a-days? I guess people who can't keep their mouths shut about something that they feel, AND must somehow let it out WHILE being scared that they may be re-examined for who they are as a person. So I guess i can sum all that up in one word, YOU.

But hey, you know... it's okay. It really is. I post these blogs for a reason. My sort of way of letting out my inner turmoil. It's a place where I can write and reflect to myself, it just so happens that the public can read it too. And I don't mind that. Thank you for having such great interest in my life. Especially my "love life." My relationships are one that I have tried to seek approval from by the only person whom it matters to, God. So whether it is just a friendship or not, that's up to the Almighty Judge. No, not you.. you may think of yourself on some high pedal-stool, but you're not. He may speak through people in my life and I am fortunate because of that but who are you in my life? But I don't go on impulse and act upon it at once making drastic decisions in my life that affect the people that I love. No, I pray about it and discuss it with my dad and/or my pastor. I don't seek the approval of anonymous people because they are anonymous to my life. As it says in the dictionary, being anonymous means you are of having no outstanding, individual, or unusual features to me, which make you quite unremarkable and impersonal. 

Anonymous and fellow bloggers out there, you can go ahead and keep reading this blog because I will still post here. But next time you leave a comment.. I only ask that you state your name so that I know. And the other people who comment can know too so no one can be offended. Thank you, come again!

In reference to comment 5 on blog below.

My dearest Ron,

I dedicate this blog to you for your friendship... that and your hilarious comment. You truly are such a great friend who knows how to give some hospitable advice. I know you truly made me smile when I woke up this morning to read your comment. Thank you for making the points that I lack in saying because due to the lack of my "facts" available in my blogs, assumptions by strangers -in reading my blog- have been made. It's okay though, I know I can come to you when I am in "dispair" for some hospitable advice to make me a better person, for you do know me, talk to me constantly and see me often. Thank you, Ron!

Gianel

Before I continue with the HW

Lo and behold, "Anonymous," the person who seems to know me well enough to give me advice but cannot reveal their identity due to lack of balls, has commented me THIS once again:


Fortunately, I am blessed with a BFF who knows me, serves with me in the church, and actually talks with me about what I discover in life since I was 12. And she said this:


Thanks Selene. But she also has the support of one of my really good friends, whom I also serve in the church with, and talk to online and in person. And he said this short and sweet:


Thanks Ron and Selene. But my BBF (boy best friend) I've known for the past 5 years, whom I too serve with in the church, talk to daily and care for dearly also seems to have my back. And he said this, after the first comment that was left:


Thank you, Aaron. I've got a gang of supporters, I wonder who else they could rally up? Sorry "Anonymous," but they seem to want to know who is the person behind all this "wisdom." Though, I highly doubt this person will show themselves, they don't seem to muster up the guts to after being called out for their numerous pieces of "advice."

Thanks friends, it was a very surprising and reassuring gesture. I truly know ya'll got my back!

You know what I don't get... I don't get how I'm an adult, expected to make adult decisions, AND YET I'm still considered incapable of having the judgment of an adult. Is there a double standard? I believe so. Lord, as long as I know You can hear my voice, please remind me that every other voice in my ear - that is not Yours - does not matter.

I think I've just come to realize that I'm a bum. I live at home. Work once a week. Not inspired by much (I can still be inspired but it seems to take a lot in order to do so). My parents support me financially/scholastic-ly. I'm not doing too hot in school. Appreciation or acknowledgment is not necessary, but can't help myself from being disappointed when it's not met. I'm a bum, I gotta accept it. Oh well, I just need to let God (or allow God) to bring myself out of my bummy-ness. Boo bum.

Only thing I can think of.

"Now this is the story all about how my life got twistered upside down..."

Phantom of the Opera

My heart gets warm every single time I hear this song. I live my romantic life through Christine Daea

All I Ask of You

RAOUL:
No more talk of darkness,
Forget these wide-eyed fears.
I'm here,nothing can harm you -
my words will warm and calm you.

Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry -your tears.
I'm here,with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you . . .

CHRISTINE
Say you love me every waking moment,
turn my head with talk of summertime . . .

Say you need me with you, now and always . . .
promise me that all you say is true -
that's all I ask of you . . .

RAOUL
Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light.
You're safe no-one will find you
your fears are far behind you . . .

CHRISTINE
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night . . .
and you always beside me
to hold me and to hide me . . .

RAOUL
Then say you'll share with me
one love, one lifetime . . .
let me lead you from your solitude . . .

Say you need me with you here, beside you . . .
anywhere you go, let me go too -
Christine, that's all I ask of you . . .

CHRISTINE
Say you'll share with me
one love, one lifetime . . .
say the word and I will follow you . . .

BOTH
Share each day with me,
each night, each morning . . .

CHRISTINE
Say you love me . . .

RAOUL
You know I do . . .

BOTH
Love me, that's all I ask of you . . .

Anywhere you go let me go too . . .
Love me that's all I ask of you . .

Oh my gosh. I had totally forgotten that today was the 17th of September. Why is this date in my memory, it's because 2 years ago on this day my grandpa, Custodio Seisa, passed away. It's was a sorrowful yet spiritual lifting day. I loved my grandpa very much... and I miss him.

The Best Part of My Day... so far.

Short blogs are what I love best. They're sweet and to the point. WELL, after starting off the day feeling super "MEHHH...," my best friend gives me a call. And then we Skype it to make it feel as if we're with each other. We talked about facials, then what's new, what's been bugging me, people at school. And after talking to her, I realized that my shed tears are useless. The person who has always brought a smile to my face, has now got me veering away from my crazy thoughts and looking at how good I've got it. Thank you, God for blessing me with a best friend who is as crazy (or even crazier) than me. I love you, Selene.

"You're muh besssst friend!"

LoL