One year: September 17th, 2006

Last summer, my grandpa had gotten really thin, then really sick. It was weird having to go visit him in the hospital and then a rehab center. Every other or two Saturdays, I would leave work early to go visit my grandpa at Eskaton, in Sacramento. I usually only went if my cousins were going. But now I'm ashamed to say that. I spent time with him, but not intimately everytime I saw him. I shoulda spent more time with him. I should have asked him more about how HE grew up. But grandpa was that type of person who kept to himself. Despite the shouting of all the aunties, uncles, cousins and Grandma, he listened to what going on around him, quietly.

My dad usually works graveyard, 4pm - 12 or 2 am. But the night of September 14th, Thursday, he took off early, saying that grandpa was really sick. So he and my mom were off the Roseville's Kaiser Hospital. They came back early that morning, when me brother's and I were sleeping. I had never thought much of it. Grandpa was My Superman. He was turning 90, with no previous sicknesses. There's no way Grandpa's sickness was THAT serious. He was too strong for all of that.

Friday came along, right after school my parents, my brothers and I headed up to Roseville. It seemed like forever, getting through traffic, parking the car in the garage, then walking over to the hospital itself. It was a nice hospital, fairly new. But we were heading to the floor where people were really sick. And then I saw grandpa, lying on his back in bed with his knees bent. He was in so much pain, and that was his only comfortable position. He didn't have his dentures in, and when I greeted him, he smiled and waved me out the door. I stood outside talking with Joe. Everyone left and then Mike came with Uncle D, Auntie Agnes and Sam. We talked and my dad said that we should pray for him to get better. We drove back home that night to San Francisco.

Saturday morning the youth were just about to start Purpose Driven Life, and although it was driven by games and the word of God, all I could think about was Grandpa. "Lord please be with him right now. Please let him be okay. Let Your healing hand work on him.... please Lord." After Bible study, my family and I got some clothes ready (just in case) and headed back to the hospital. While the parents were in the room, the cousins stayed in the waiting room. Then it was getting late, and they took Grandma home... only for her and everyone in the family to be called to the hospital IMMEDIATELY. Grandpa was sent to the ICU, and we couldn't do anything about it. I sat helpless in the waiting room by myself as everyone checked on him... left with my thoughts and prayers. Hours had gone by, it was 2 am. The older cousins had gone to eat at a diner, the chain one I cannont think of right now. We talked and laughed about the good times and enjoyed being with one another. I felt better having eaten, only to be sent to go sleep at Jess' house. All the cousins and grandma were sent to sleep as the parents took shifts at who would stay. It was early AM.

We were then called back by my dad, saying that we need to go to the hospital. The siblings [my dad and his siblings] were talking to the doctor, so Jess and I were sent to go get breakfast for everyone. Only to come back with the whole family in a waiting room. A doctor was asked to come in the room. The TV was on, but put in mute. The chairs were arranged like beds. Mike had his phone on speaker with Kristie. The doctor spoke of what was happening to grandpa... infection... ya ya ya. Then he said something that still brings tears to my eyes whenever I think about it. He said that grandpa only had a few hours to a day left to live. The antibiotics were just slowing the process. Liana, right next to me, cried on my shoulder. I took a few seconds longer to grasp the concept... but then I was soon embracing my younger cousin.

Grandpa. No... you can't be dying. You can't be. Your family needs you! I need you to be here. I was going to interview you! No... all things are possible through Christ Jesus my Lord. Only God can heal him...

I cried all that day. I had lost someone really dear to me. I felt so empty. I felt like he didn't even die. Grandpa, no longer here? That just couldn't be. Who's going to tend his garden? Who will be with grandma?

I was then comforted by the siblings... through the tears, they praised and glorified the name of God. They saw that light and comfort God was providing. Grandpa was a child of God, and he had a place in heaven. With the praise songs being sung, and the siblings honoring God throughout this whole ordeal made it all the easier to understand that God is good. Although He may have taken our hero from us, He brought the family much closer. I quickly was able to understand the will of God

The only thing that is still hard for me to grasp was the fact that grandpa will no longer be there. No more big hugs, or an old man in the garden, or the rough kisses because of his unshaven face. I will always have my memories of grandpa, but I know he is a much better place. I know I will see and rejoice with him one day. But for now I just remember him.