It's the most wonderful time of the year.

This is what happens when you set the camera timer on 2 seconds because you want to take a picture of your cute makeup with you cute dress. That just equals NO BUENO.

RIP Blue Car.

It was 8:02 AM, Tuesday morning. I am at a light at the corner of JS and Hickey. My RPM goes down, so I press on the gas. Then as the light turns green, I step on the gas but my car doesn't move. It was dead. Unable to move.

So my car died yesterday morning. And I don't think it will be revived. It was once, but I need a new engine, which will set me back like $2500. So no thank you. I guess Sam will be picking me up now. Sam-TRANS!

I will miss my rough mornings with that old car. From when I was still an only child to my first couple years in college, that car had treated me well. I didn't even have a picture of my car. So I tried to find one that looked my like it, when I cam across the picture above. [SIGH] I hope my car is in car heaven.

'89 Honda "BLUE CAR" Accord
Dec. 88 -Dec. 07
"Come on, baby! You can do it!"

Annoyed.

Right now, I am writing my portion of the paper on prostitution in Thailand. My part of the paper explains and analyzes how families and intimate relationships play a part in the sex trade. This is all for my Sociology class, which I am probably getting an A in. [How could I not get an A, the quizzes are extra-credit / open-note / open-book, plus the exams are open note!] Well, I have the crazy group member who is riding my back about my portion of the essay, and how it's going to affect her grade if I don't give it to her on time. I mean I guess you can say she is being a good student. But the way I am perceiving her is, "GOOD GOLLY WOMAN! You probably have an A, and my part of the paper will get done. So DON'T WORRY!!!!" I mean come on. It does get to a certain point when asking becomes nagging. I really dislike her for that. Geez lueez! Why do I have to be afraid to open my email?! WHATEVV... I should get back to typing, she might track me down at home...

In the nippy-nip of it all.

I haven't written a blog in, perhaps, almost a month. WOW... that is unlike me. I have been so wrapped up with things around me that I have not even found the time to release what's been going on.

Well, this week is the last week before finals. But to me, it seems like my finals week are put into two. This week alone, I have about five exams. FIVE! Nutrition by tonight, physiology lab and sociology tomorrow, contemp sex Thursday and psychology on Friday.

I am really stressed out. But my stress level has been almost equal to my laziness level. I have been so apathetic in getting things done. I have a paper due this afternoon and I haven't finished. I need to finish my Global Awareness Project by tonight so that I can email it to my group. I need to at least START on my nutrition lectures before I can take the exam. As well as complete the study guides for soc. and lab.

But this is the only time I have to spare. Stop being lazy, Gianel! And Lord, I pray that you give me strength to handle these with a successful outcome.

DEEP INSPIRATION. DEEP EXPIRATION.

Tres esquelas.

I just realized. I'm a student at three different schools this semester.
I'm a student at San Francisco State University, City College of San Francisco and Consumnes River College.
Wow... high five me!

True Friendship.

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

John 15:13

Many times, and I say many times, I have been troubled, let down, disappointed by my friends. I was thinking earlier, "Wow, I don't even talk to some of my friends anymore." I feel like I've failed them when I see that they have gone astray, or that I am behind in achieving something. But I know that I will always have my brothers and sisters in Christ. The ones who give you the best kind of advice, the one that comes from God. They don't use their personal judgement (well they may a little) and you know that their advice is sound because you know it's not really coming from their lips, but from the word of God. I have a friend whom I am (or was) really close to. And as time came, we grew with each other, spiritually and physically. But as we got older, we chose different paths. And because of that our values changed. I'm not saying that I am totally better than this person, but I was disheartened by my friend's choices in life. It seem like they had gone astray, not really walking the narrow path. I thought I had voiced it out before, but it seems like it needs to be done again.
I opened up this with John 15:13, I was thinking really hard about that one because it's true to say that everyone is going to disappoint you at one point or another. But who else would you turn to if the world had it's back against you. Those would be lonely times, most definetely. But if it weren't for the life I have in Christ, I know that I have the best friend of all... Jesus. Yeah yeah everyone says that. But if you examine it, Christ died for you and me. He didn't just do it so that it could be another story in the Bible. But He sacrificed himself so that we can be with the Father in heaven. I no longer have to do good deeds or be a good person just to enjoy eternal life. I'm not saying that I won't be a good person, but what John 3:16 says:

For God so loved that world, that he gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him, shall not perish but have everlasting life.

God sent His ONE AND ONLY son to die for me, you, the world so that we can be with Him in heaven. And it's the free gift! All you have to do is believe that He did. He's the greatest friend! He sent His son to be born and perform all these wonderous miracles. Then God watched his son be tortured, beaten, crucified, ridiculed, spat on, humilated, made fun of... all at our expense. What kind of friend do you have? I know I could probably die for a few friends, but just a few... not everyone. Christ did it for us all. Who then constitues as a better friend. I'm gonna say it.. He's better than me. And I'm glad that He is.

I once was speechless, but now I've found it.

It was Johnny Boy's birthday yesterday. And he turned 15, I can't belive it... it's making me feel old. HAPPY BIRFDAY JOHN! I actually just came home from John's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese [hey, it was fun!]. I had cantata practice before, and I was losing my voice last night. But while I was at Chuck E. Cheese, I all of a sudden lost my voice. The kind where you can't talk. It was so weird, but I got it back after an hour. WEIRD, HUH? Well anyways, all the youth went on over to John's house, where his mom cooked a feast and I ate some more. I most definetely had a blast!
Well I am really really stressed, but I seem to be procrastinating. You want to know why? This week is going to be a killer:
1. Agree/Disagree paper DUE TUESDAY
2. Immigration paper DUE TUESDAY
3. Sociology test #3 TUESDAY
4. Psychology test #3 WEDNESDAY
5. Physiology test #3 FRIDAY

On top of all of that, I have to make up the dance for Kaye's Debut which is on Saturday. I haven't even finished half.... cripes! But I hope I do it on time. Okay, imma start it now.

PS: My memory card doesn't work, so I can't put up a picture of the cool prizes I got from Chuck E. Cheese.

Oxy-MORONS!

Giorn showed Aaron, Aaron showed me and I IMed it to a few people... but I gotta post it here because it makes me smile =) even though it's a bit messed up.

[tear]

I was going to make "The Tour of My Bedroom: par deux," but I couldn't find the darn iFlip. I cleaned my room and everything! Stupid crap... I guess it will have to wait until next time.

Darn those thoughts.

Okay, so I've been looking back. And I must say that I do miss it. "Skin-hungry." But if I was that girl you say I was, then the effort isn't there. I made it halfway, now it's your turn. Or might I say that it was... I got to "thinkin" because that was basically the third strike. You weren't out in my books, but you made yourself out. But it's koo, cuz I know I am well taken care of. And I truly hope you are happy with your path in life, once again.

Ambiguity is key.

Sleepless nights.

Last night was Halloween. I was a flower in a flowerpot and it surprsingly worked out. Ate a lot at the Harvest Fest. Got some candy, then lost it =/ Didn't go to class because I had a sleepless night. Why, you ask? Hmmm... well there's this point in a girl's life where she reaches the peak of her estrogen level therefore releasing the inner lining of the uterus and .... Yes, sorry to say, but I'm not ashamed to admit it. I had such HORRIBLE cramps last night. I woke up at 3:38 am, had a tummy ache and thought..."aww crap." Went to the bathroom did my business and took night-time-drowsy medicine to knock me out along with 2 Advils for the pain. Well I felt the pain and I didn't sleep! I spent the rest of the night in the most random positions with those stupid cramps, moaning about how I hate being a girl. I even got up and regurgitated, not food, but bile. It was an unpleasant experience, but that last trip to the bathroom helped me knock out. Good... it was around 5:15 at that time. But yes... hopefully tonight's rest would be much better.

PS: The picture has nothing to do with what my blog was about. But while searching for a pertainable picture, I came upon this one.... THE DOGGY IS SOOOO CUTEE!!!!

Post Secret Sunday.

I like to read celebrity gossip blogs because I feel like my life has no shareable gossip. Plus, it makes me feel better about myself.

Tienen Hambre.

I am mighty hungry right about now. And that turkey leg looks pretty good. It makes me wanna drive down to Disneyland and get one of those succulently roasted $6 turkey leg. GARLGHGHHH..... [<- basically doing what Homer Simpson does]. MmMmM... but NO! I must not. It's too late, I wouldn't be able to digest it tonight and it's midnight. I must not give in. I'll drink my water and go to sleep.

But it looks sooooo good!

Good Afternoons!

I must say that today I had a very good afternoon. Not meaning, "Good afternoon," the greeting, but the afternoon that was genuinely good. This morning started out tough, had an exam that I studied for all weekend. But went to psych (by myself because Ray was studying instead), and I saw the hot T.A. Then Regina and I decided to go have lunch at Elephant Bar and at the corner of Holloway and Juniperro Serra, I saw Monick and Uncle Eric. And he gave us a ride to my car! Holler for laziness! I ate good food, and got a cute, fashionably cheap dress from Forever 21 (err... XXI). I don't know what I am going to wear it for, but it's cheap and cute! Anyways, Regina and I saw some really cute shoes at Payless... and I wanted them, but none were my size plus I had no money! Its koo tho... cuz I went to class even I didn't want to and the teacher goes up to me and said that she really liked my paper and that it was really good. I knew it was okay, not THAT okay. Woo for surprises! Then I returned my jacket at H&M because it was too similar to my other one. I'd rather have more diversity in my closet! When I returned it, I got it 30% off but they gave the full price back! The girl noticed it too, and I don't know why the computer gave it back in full. So basically, I made a profit! My mom said that that's stealing, but the girl noticed the receipt. Maybe I should be a good girl and give it back... maybe. But hey, I have money now...

Walk on by.

One of the most favorite past times I developed in college was watching people. Having been on campus with so many people, you sort of just cannot help but TO look at people. You look at what they're wearing, if it's cute or not. You see if they took time to get ready, or just got up and went to class. You notice if they try to look presentable or look like they are about to go to the club. You examine how they walk and carry themselves. But most of all you notice how their face looks. "She's cute." Or, "wow... he's mighty fine!" A little bit of "WOAH... why are you so hot?!" And every-so-often the "Oh my gosh... did you see her face (hand gesture around the face), what's wrong with it?"
Watching people has become a, sort of, past time because when I'm by myself, with my own thoughts, I wonder who the people around me are? I don't know them and I probably never will. But if you look enough, and have that same route, you tend to see the same people on those specific days. Don't take me wrong, I am no stalker. But looking at people is satisfactory to me. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it's sad. Othertimes it is a bit awkward. Or it is rewarding. You see that girl with "meat" on her back, or the guy in the bookstore. How about the guy you see in government class? Or the girl who parks where you park everyday, and walks down from Junipero Serra to HSS with you. The guy in the hat. The guy from your friend's gym. The girl who dates someone you know. Or that clique you can always see together.
I think that watching people walk on by gives me a perception of where I am, and who I am. I know how I dress, and what I can probably be perceived as. It's a game that changes everyday as you observe the life around you. (I must say once again, I am no stalker... it's just a game!)

I wear my sunglasses as you walk on by.

"Let me take you down...

"... cause Im going to
Strawberry fields
Nothing is real
And nothing to get hung about
Strawberry fields forever."

Selene imported the Love album by the Beatles last night, and now this song is really stuck in my head. I actually am listening to it right now, for the 4th time since I sat down to write this. It's a great song, but the blog is not going to be about this blog alone. Perhaps is may be a little bit of this, a little bit of that.

What's been going on in my life? Hmm... let's see. School, I'm really nervous... I'm going to apply for the nursing program this month and I am really nervous. I know for a fact that I am most definetly NOT getting into the program, but a little part of me wants the school to make a mistake and pick me. Stupid GPA isn't a 3.7. I disappointed myself. And right now I am not doing as well in school as I want. But it's so hard balancing so many classes. I have to finish writing my english paper by tonight [It's also Tiff's birthday party, I highly doubt I can make it, well maybe for an hour]. Then afterwards I want to study for my physio lab midterm and sociology midterm, which are both on Tuesday. I really hope I get A's on both, I need the GPA boost.

Besides school, I am having fun getting free movie screenings. I got three so far, but I only watched two: Dan in Real Life & Lars and the Real Girl. I didn't notice that they both had life in their title. They were both good movies, but Lars was really REALLY good. Ryan Gosling is such a great actor. He has stepped it up since Mickey Mouse Club and Breaker High.

Let's see, my spiritual life has been going. Neither up nor down. I feel like I am at a steady pace, and that is not where I want to be. I'd rather be going up. But the Bible study last night reacquainted me with the verse from the book of John 3:30:

He must increase. But I must decrease.

I spoke out last night, and I know it was His words that came out of my mouth because when I stop to realize what I said, it hit me. What I said was in response to the passages that we read, stating that we are free people but we should not take advantage of this. And that when are invited to a feast, we don't seat ourselves next to them and boast about ourselves. And I think that THAT is where Christians go hazy. What I had said last night was that we ARE NOT humbled enough, and that we ARE NOT worthy to be seated beside Him. Here we go, being selfish everyday, thinking about what I WANT, what I FEEL, what I NEED. I need to do this... I need to get that... I... I... I... me... me... me. And here comes Christ, dying for our sins so that we can spend eternity with Him. He thought of us first, and we respond with what we else we want. We are his servants. He didn't make us His slaves, forcing us to do his every tasks. He gave us a choice in life, the only thing he asks is to love and bring glory to His name....

***CONTINUATION***

What we were learning was to be humble. We dissected the part of Psalm 23:3, "He guides me in paths of righteousness for His names sake." We do things for HIS name sake, so that we can be righteous. How so? I see it as doing things for Him, so that He is accredited properly because we as human are not able to do things on our own. God gives us the strength, the knowledge and the talents to do things. We in ourselves may find joy through it, and that is what God wants, but who are we to take credit for something that we didn't do ourselves. It's a bit selfish. How can we be selfish with a God who is selfless. WOW... I do that all the time. I am selfish. I like the bring attention to what I had accomplished. It feels good. But I didn't do it on my own. God allowed me to be sucessful, or he allowed me to fail. I usually only see Him when I fail because when I did it "on my own," I feel all powerful. I need to be humbled. And I pray that is what those out there do as well. We, of course, cannot say that "I am humble," because the moment that you do, you become proud. I pray that I, and others out there can be humbled before God. He sent His ONE AND ONLY son to die one of the most horrible deaths, the only way to repay is by just glorifying Him in all we do. He did put us here for a reason, and allowed us to keep on going. Yes... those are my two cents. What are yours?

Stealing Internet.

I am currently at work, writing a blog. And usually people can do that, but my office doesn't have internet. But thanks to Dr. Pia for her laptop and CManalo (related to Allen?) for having an unsecured network, I am here able to write. Man, I am excited. I have an info session for the BSN program at Canada @ 4 and hopefully I can make connections there through my dad. AND... I got a free screening for the movie Lars and the Real Girl. I have been wanting to watch this and KOO-KOO-KAH-CHOO a free screening was emailed to me. It was weird though cuz it was from this Christian movie/media thing but anyways, IT'S FREE. I have been getting a lot of free screenings lately. But yeah. Alrighty going back to work...

Ahhhh poooperz.

Today is Tuesday, my longest school day of the week. I usually have Contemporary Sex at 8-9:25, then I go home or stay at school with Regina and Ray. And then I have Physio lab at 2-5 then Sociology at City, 6-9. BUT... today I was supposed to go stay at school and have chinese with Regina, Ray, Marisol and maybe Anjie (I usually don't stay so i don't know everyone's schedule). But I didn't finish my lab report so I had to go home and finish it. So from 10-1:15, I did my lab report. And I did my make-up, I was looking mighty scary after staring at a screen for 3 hours, and headed off to class. (Might I add that God let traffic clear for me and gave me all-day parking!) So I came into class late, and LO & BEHOLD... all we had to do was turn in our lab. "Great! What am I going to do for a good 4 hours!" is what I said to my lab partner. But it's okay, I got to know my lab partner more, and i now have a possible study group. Woot. So I sit in the MAC (media access center), checking my e-mail and writing this blog because I forgot that I can't do my nutrition homework without internet explorer (btw I'm using a mac). I would take a picture for you readers out there, but there are too many people around me to open the photobooth. alrighty then... here is something I have not said in years:

Ta-ta for now,
Ti-ti for later!

Stupid MySpace.

Everytime I sign onto myspace, I get distracted. Be it homework or anything else. But one thing that bugs me most isn't myspace, it's the fact that some people, some persons, are given chances. And I guess that when a chance is given, after multiple times, there is some sort of expectation. Well that is what I had, an expectation. That they would be able to hear me out, make me laugh, be a friend. But apparently that's just "too much to ask." BOO-HOO. I'm not sad, but more like irritated. I guess that's what you get for being a sucker. GAH! It's okay... there are other things, people, that will make me happy. God will bless me with the happiness I need! But I am happy!

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

I know I've posted this picture before, but it was the only heart-felt birthday picture in which all the cousins (at the time) were in. Well, Happy Birthday Grandpa! It would have been your 91st birthday! I still cannot believe you are not celebrating here with us, but who am I to be sad. If anything I should be jealous, you are spending your birthday in happiness, for you are with our Father in Heaven. WOOT WOOT.... high five grandpa! Well, I haven't blogged in a week [that deserves a wo-wo-wee-wo-wo in my book] because I have been mucho busy with school, church and bahay stuff. Happy Birthday, Grandpa!